The Official Diagnosis: We Found the "Worst Cases of Senioritis"

It’s an epidemic that sweeps our halls every winter: Senioritis. The symptoms are familiar—chronic lateness, sudden disinterest in homework, and an intense desire for naps. This year, we’ve found our "patient zero" duo, and they have earned the undisputed superlative of Worst Case of Senioritis.

Meet Alan Ayala Morales and Natalie Garey-Soza, two seniors who have officially checked out and are currently accepting mail from the couch.

Alan "Garfield" Ayala Morales: Operating at 15% Battery

If senioritis had a poster child, it would be Alan. His motivation is currently hovering at a tragic 15%, which he somehow considers an active state.

His spirit animal is no high-achiever; it's Garfield, because the cat "likes to nap and be sarcastic like me."

Alan’s approach to the end of the year is simple: avoidance. He’d "accidentally" miss the ACT and fast-forward the entire school day if he could. In ten years, the memory he plans to hold onto is "Nothing because i was never here."

The biggest distractions fueling his 'itis? "Doordashing food and staying home." The necessities, obviously. He's also completely given up on using "my brain and my pencil pouch." When you need a superpower just to survive the last few weeks, you know it's bad. Alan's wish: "Time manipulation."

The final sign he's in the deep end? "You know you have 'senioritis' when you start... thinking its Friday on a Wednesday." A classic, Alan.

Natalie "Lola Bunny" Garey-Soza: The Art of the Getaway

Natalie’s case is just as severe, though she claims her motivation battery is at a suspiciously high 99% (a likely senior exaggeration). Her symptoms are centered around strategic avoidance.

Which mandatory event is she ditching? "Pep rallies," which is a whole mood. She’d also happily skip periods 1, 2, and 4. Her superpower of choice is a highly practical "Having a clone," so a stand-in can finish the year while she... well, she doesn't say, but we assume it involves avoiding "Books," which she has completely stopped using.

Her biggest fuel for the condition is "The weekends," a beautiful escape from the grind. Natalie can be found with her partners in crime, Letica Gama and Allison Maldando, when those "unexpected 'mental health days'" roll around.

The ultimate symptom she identifies with? "You know you have 'senioritis' when you start... getting to school late everyday." The clock is merely a suggestion at this point.

Both Alan and Natalie have embodied the senior struggle perfectly, turning the first semester into an art form of procrastination. The finish line is closer than it seems, even if they get to the graduation stage a little late." Hopefully, their GPAs survive the final sprint.